Letter to My Daughters: How to be a real woman
When I was young, I adored baby dolls. Changing them, feeding them, putting them to sleep. Oh, and dress up too! I was such a girl.
When my sister was young, she was a shoe fanatic, hated dolls, played with Ninja Turtles, and despised Girl Scouts. She too was such a girl. Different from me, but still very much a girl.
What does it mean anyway- to be such a girl? Or now that we’re well into our adulthood- to be a real woman?
Beyond the countless differences my sister and I and the entire remainder of the global female population have, the greatest part of being a woman we all share (besides makeup!), is the way we ought to be and to remain, and that is to be one who fears the Lord.
“… a woman who fears the Lord
will be greatly praised.”
And so, as a mother of 3 daughters who will one day become grown women themselves, I wish to pass onto them these precious principles to live by.
Fear God as your Loving Father
I can imagine the response of all 3 girls in my head now, “Why mommy? Is God scary??”
Remember those teen years when we would receive 23 missed calls from Mom? *insert heart palpitations* Now that is what you call scary. But if your mom was anything like mine, she didn’t keep calling because she wanted to hunt down my life and take it from me. It was because out of the magnitude of her love, that she wanted to protect me by making rules and making sure I obey them.
The bible tells us that God’s commands are not burdensome (1 John 5:3). Out of God’s infinite and incomparable love, He desires to protect us from making decisions that will later hurt us. Hence, to fear God means to walk in obedience to Him not because He’s an angry God, but because He is an unconditional-loving one.
Fear of God, and Gain Wisdom
A well-known Broadway song tells us that diamonds are a girl’s best friend. (I can almost agree as I look down at my diamond wedding ring sparkle back at me, while writing this.) But as Mrs.Bo so beautifully expounded on in her latest book and as the bible plainly tells us, wisdom is truly better than jewels (Proverbs 8:11). Collect all the rarest jewels, attain the most pricey of possessions, savor the most delectable gastronomical delights (tempting, I know), and still, obtaining wisdom is far better. How to begin doing so, my daughters may ask?
“The fear of the Lord
is the beginning of wisdom.”
Fear God, Not Others
As a child, I was convinced that tutus and fairy wands made me more of a girl in others’ eyes. As an adult wife and mother, throwing perfect pinterest parties and opting to homeschool my children- all while looking gorgeously put together and keeping my home spic’n span (does anyone actually successfully achieve this!?) makes me more of a woman in others’ eyes.
But I must remind myself and my daughters always that the only type of woman truly worth aiming to be is one whose heart seeks to please God before pleasing people. One who genuinely fears Him, instead of fearing what others will say. For in fearing others we may find, at best, acceptable versions of ourselves, but in fearing Him will we find confidence in His forgiving and unchanging love, as well as His calling.
“Then, and only then, my dear daughters,” I would say, “you will be a real woman.”